When broken meets fine, either way the results are explosive..
Men are broken in their childhood,their upbringing, their physical lack, emotional lack, financial lack , in their workplace and these surposedly strong creatures are sometimes broken in all dimensions. It always is a tough choice to opt to date a broken man in any form.
My issues ranged from childhood abandonment scars, I fear the very invetable reality of being deserted. The psychologist said it started with the divorce of my parents. That on its own was a fracture in my mental state. Whenever someone came into my life, I knew every woman had left me before. I could never be good enough. The abondment issues grow with you. After your divorce they become very visible either way. You become clingy and when your claws can’t grip on tight, the sensation of keeps is vanguished.
With me emotions run so deep! I am very fragile, I cry easily, bruise easily yet from the kindergaten years we are taught that boys don’t show any emotions. Men don’t cry thats all we hear, well I defy odds. I love deeply, I show emotion as prescribed for the feminine and they call me sissy. Bullies have never bothered me at all. Names have no effect on me I love people. They probably need love more than I do.
Having grown up exposed to extreme wealth in my uncles’ home then extreme poverty on the other side of the family, I knew how it felt to have nothing and the thin line between both worlds. Compassion and extreme kindess became my second downfall. I could give the very last cent I had in exchange of the inexplicable feeling of joy it brought me. The curse with this is people use you for who you are. Because they know it completes you and they will devour your gift and you will be fortunate to know who has ulterior motives. The curse of having much to give is you eventually get surrounded by vultures who prey on your demise. How I wish their hearts will be shamefully opened and have a public trial, vipers!
Divorce’s aftermath ropes in serious people issues. It is difficult to believe in people. Well its no excuse though but really you develop these extra senses that sort of filter anything you encounter as hogwash. You hardly waste time on arguments, you are the judge and the jury and your decision is final. Its a configuration that is a bonus once the court process is done.
The biggest scare there has always been about me was a very high IQ. I have an IQ of 205. I think people prefer normal. I am different and sometimes the ailment of anxiety left me depressed a lot. I have so many out of this world cognitive extraordinaries. Being different and uncommon is treated as a demon. I am an alien amongst my own. Someone somewhere came up with average normal IQs, they say I am sick, I have been put in a group with Charles Darwin and great artists like Leornado and great philosophers long past.
Would you love me? Would you love a mad man? Would you stay even if it meant half the time you’d have to play strong? Would give me hope, would you smile and lay besides me even when I scare the hell out of you. They walk and never look back, Ed Sheraan says they are happier.. I wallow in my pity and my consolation is my WiFi I empty my heart as I please the only place where noone judges ne. My blog!
Happy Friday ya’ll