I am African, Africa is my home, and my home is Africa. By birth I am its citizen, through qualification I still stand as its citizen; via the route of documentation I am still its loyal citizen.  I love my Africa.. I pay my taxes to prove that I am indeed willing to see this land prosper. I have worked so very hard to be African.

I have watched in awe the ugliest betrayal of my kind. I was born in a very peaceful community; I was born and accustomed to the traits of the civilised world. I believed every word I heard that one day we would all be in love with one another through tolerance, negotiation, non violent resolution to our challenges.

As I read about the sacrifices by the earlier generations I vowed to never be blinded by colour, race, tribe or origin. I would never betray Patrice Lumumba; never would I betray Kwame Nkrumah. I understood that we are who we are because of the decisions we make through the efforts of Nelson Mandela. The message from Oliver Tambo would never depart from my thoughts; no one would be free if there is still a little bit of hate in us.

The Durban and Jozi Incidents have made me abhor myself. I feel I can only hate me rather than hate my brother or my fellow African, what do I do wrong, today I have no one to blame but me. Maybe I said something about someone that infuriated them? Maybe I live too well when I should be sharing all I have, maybe I displaced a brother from his job, maybe I value my tribe above others, could it be that I have unfairly and unjustly grabbed someone’s land . It could be possible that I have contributed to the poor health system and a surge in the scramble of resources, I have given bribes and maybe this has turned my brother against me because I set the wrong precedence. I have been so selfish of late; I value my needs over the needs of others. I have probably sowed the seed of hate for my own benefit..  I could have deployed the army to save more lives, but I didn’t care enough as I wouldn’t want a row with the people who vote for me tomorrow.

I look in the mirror and still see the man/woman I see walking down the road, the very same person who was stoned and stabbed to death for being different. I sit here on my PC and still don’t know who to blame but me..

Self hate is the worst betrayal of all time. Africans it is high time for introspection and value each other’s lives.

Xenophobia translates to self hate… Killing each other for the same struggles is not solving our problems, its deferring them not accepting and solving them.

PC 19 Apr. 15